Month: June 2024

Leave a comment Posted on

A Needed Visit

June 17, 2023, is the date that is engraved in my mind. It was the day my mother took her last breath and passed away.

Fast forward to Monday, June 17, 2024, the first anniversary of her death. The plan was to visit her grave, but I couldn’t do it. For the few days prior, I was in a low, depressed mood, mentally arguing with myself. Part of me said it was my duty to go, while the other part said it was okay if I didn’t want to go. I decided not to go on that day. That gave me a bit of peace and gave me the courage to go on another day.

That day was this afternoon.

Since it was a warm summer day, I ran some errands and then went to have lunch. I was pleasantly surprised with a lady sitting near me blessed me with buying my lunch. It was the first time a stranger did that for me. I asked her why she would do that for me, and she said “the Spirit told me to bless you.” I thanked her profusely (especially since I would not have much money left had I paid for my meal). When I left the restaurant, it dawned on me I could use some of those funds to buy some flowers and go visit the cemetery, since I wasn’t far from that location.

After getting the flowers and driving to the entrance, I slowly drove around, trying to find the grave site, telling myself to be patient, which helped as it didn’t take long to find the section. Memories flooded my mind as I looked at the stone with my aunt’s (Ella) and mother’s (Verna) names on it. Years ago, they purchased a plot and were buried together.

A solemn moment, but a good one.

I didn’t stay long. As I looked at and repositioned the flowers, I said to them both that I hope they were both well and doing fine, and they were watching over me.

I hope I don’t wait so long to visit again. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. There was nothing to be scared of. I was okay after all.

Leave a comment Posted on

A Slight Change Does the Heart Good

Not long ago I wrote about a new chapter, which included moving to a new town. I was excited and scared all at the same time.

Perhaps I need not be scared anymore; for now, I am not moving.

But when I thought I was moving, I started packing, and I am going to do my best to not unpack. Whatever I need I will hunt for the box, pull it out, and leave the remaining stuff in the box. I have discovered some things this week that I did not think I would experience, but I am glad I did.

When I thought I would be moving later this year, I went into getting rid of things. I gave away my empty flowerpots (no worries, Shirley, I won’t ask for them back), and I put items on FB Marketplace in hopes of selling them, only to later delete them and instead donate them while keeping others. What I did not expect was the way I felt when I emptied my apartment of them.

I felt an inward freedom of not seeing them anymore, not feeling remorse of getting rid of them. For example, I was not looking forward to going through my closet, as it was so packed with clothes, and items I have not used in years, but I did, and my closet is about 80 percent empty now. To see all that empty space is exhilarating. Many was donated, while others are in boxes as well as the shoes, and I felt so good about that. The feeling I felt as I emptied my spaces surprised me. I felt the same way when I put my large bookcase out (when someone picked up rather quickly), while I donated other items. Then I rearranged my living room, and without those items I disposed of made the room look so much better. Now I understand why people are minimalists while others do all they can to declutter. There is joy that is felt when you experience that less is more.

I plan that I will not fill up the closet or buy more shoes (well, I don’t know about the shoes part), but for now, I am enjoying the freedom of seeing empty closets, neater storage areas, and throwing out stuff I haven’t used in years. I think I am moving on from being a pack rat to a decluttered semi-minimalist.

May be a bit of a change, but it’s one that does my heart good.