10/6/2015 posted on Facebook at 11:44pm:
It started Sunday evening. The next day much better. Then came today. Getting to the hospital a second time by request by the nurses, because the patient was very combative, who pulled out both IVs, and on and on it went. When I got to her room, she called me pitiful, that God did not love me, she didn’t want to see me, and I was the devil in sheep’s clothing. She asked me if I loved God, who Jesus was to me; the more we talked, the more bizarre it became.
I felt I lost the essence of one that was there for me, that was an encourager, my friend. Today though she is still alive, the very essence of her is gone…today I lost my mother to what appears to be dementia. I am truly at a loss of words. I do not know what to do right now. I am trying to hold it together, but right now, not being able to sleep, not being able to turn off my head, I’m just at a loss of words, because I feel the agony of losing someone close to me.
I’ve been told my mother is not coming back. I have witnessed this evening the evilness dementia possesses. I guess it is now my turn to ask for help. I know God is with me no matter what. When I walk through the fire I will not be burned. The words she said to me this evening I know are not from her. Many decisions to make… I need Jesus to walk with me… in my trial, Lord walk with me… when my heart is aching, I want Jesus to walk with me…